WE WIN, WE SHINE! Thanks to whom?

by Breedo Bagman

Today the final of the World Goblet of Quidditch ends with unbelievable victory of Brainwashed Barbies, young and ambitious ladies` Q-club from Wales, over the previous Goblet-winners, Bayern Besens from Germany! Nineteen goals scored by the super trio of Captain Penelope Flint and two her open girlfriends, Margherite Clearwater and Melissa Johnson, against only two from the other side, crushed German “Steel Brooms” to dust! Even their brilliant star, world’s fastest Seeker from Jamaica, Hussein “Thunderbolt” Agape, could do nothing to fight against the 18 year-old starlet Gloria Wood! She snatched the Golden Snitch right from his fingers!

The biggest ever wizard stadium, constructed especially at the wastelands of Northern Devonshire, vibrated from roars of 45 000 wizards and witches from all parts of wizarding world! German Minister for Magic, Herr Abelard Aldrich, tried to commit suicide near the end of game, but was saved by his British colleague, Mrs. Hermione Weasley-Granger! This game will be ingraved in golden letters into Quidditch history without any doubt.

After the game, a traditional gala party also gave rise to some gossip about dresses and hats of its participants. Scandal-loving Theresa Lovegood, who was dressed, if this word is to be used, in a robe made from spruce branches, young Scorpius Malfoy in ragged pants in golden yarn – all of them had no choice but to step aside when belle Lily Potter arrived in a simple little black robe with a silver scarf from unicorn`s hair! The magic scarf having cost more in Galleons than a year’s budget of the entire Ministry of Magic! But little Lily, or her boyfriend, Harry Weasley, eldest son of the gold-investment guru, billionaire William A. Weasley, can most undeniably afford it!

Nobody was surprised, anyway, that Ms. Potter (or was it her scarf?) came accompanied by two bodyguards. However, one of them was absolutely unusual! It was the author of this scarf himself, free house-elf Frottie, who works (not serves!) for the Potters’ family.

As we all remember, and multiple charity events organized by Mrs. Weasley-Granger will not give us a slightest chance to forget, the Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare, or S.P.E.W. (please, do not confuse her S.P.E.W. and our SPEW, as these are two absolutely different spews!), founded by her at her youth at Hogwarts, still exists and “fights against slavery for freedom“, as their slogans proclaim.

Our correspondent Aliena Skeeter was lucky enough to get a 5-minute interview with Frottie, when Ms. Lily had a conversation with her mother in the Ministry lodge at the stadium. Elf Frottie was polite enough to reveal some news from house-elf society life, normally hidden from all wizards’ eyes in usual times.

As he said, Dobbie and Kreacher, the two heroes of WWII, became new idols of house-elf community and divided their sodality into two non-equal parts.

The image of the heroic Dobbie, First Free Elf, Saviour of HP, killed by the awful Bellatrix Lestrange, created a whole movement of elves aching to be free. During the twenty years after WWII, almost one hundred elves got freedom and found a paid job due to S.P.E.W. efforts. (Frottie was pridefully wearing his own scarf with S.P.E.W. letters made by Mrs. Weasley-Granger herself).

On the other hand, as Frottie told us, the elderly but still active Kreacher, commander-in-chief of the house-elf squad in the Battle of Hogwarts, one of the elves awarded the Order of Merlin 2nd Class, is loyal to the old custom in its original form, and keeps fighting against “new spoilt ideas” straight and strong. A lot of his followers swore they would be beheaded when no longer capable of fullfilling their work.

Anyway, now the whole wizarding community have enough fodder for discussion and debate, so we might have a respite until next Saturday!