Can Pink Be Darker than Dark?

by Aliena Skeeter

Angela Umbridge, the offspring of the centaur Bane and Dolores Umbridge, ex-Senior Undersecretary to the Minister for Magic, has prepared and published a new Ministry-approved list of spells, hexes and curses for Defence of Dark Arts lessons in Hogwarts. It was developed within a special EWU (European Wizard Union) program called Turn Dark into Pink. We can disclose some of them to our readers:

  • Homosexio
  • Tolerantio
  • Feministic rebellio
  • Goblins’ lives matters
  • Honest electio
  • Greenpeacio imitatio
  • Global warming bullshitio
  • Putin nightmario
  • Turkey (Ukraine, Georgia, Azerbaijan and Nepal) European wizard unio
  • Marijuana legalio
  • World government nonconspiracio

This prominent work has been Gold-awarded by an independent foundation which is being supported by such sponsors as Gringotts Sachs, Umbridgewater, MalfoyStanley and Koch Bros.