Is It A New Shadow?

by Andrew Karkaroff

At the start of this summer, Witter and Witchstagram vedette of l’epatage, porn-rock star Melany Crabbe released a new album called @Nox, but the cover became the most shocking part of it.

At the magical 3W-photo, Melany (not so naked as ever) sitting on the back of a unicorn that looks absolutely happy with her there. Widely notorious for her multiple affairs, Melany would obviously seem out of line with the most important restriction for girls, willing to associate with unicorns.

Was it Confunded? Nearly impossible! Until this very day, the spellproofness of unicorns, their magical strength and power have been a legend among all magical creatures. Nevertheless, all the experts in magical photos whom we contacted, confirmed that this photo must be true.

Trying to solve this enigma, we found out that Ms. Crabbe is in close friendship with Albus Severus Potter!

(For a few months already, there have been rumours about his part in mysterious accidents with unknown outcomes, covered with exceptional efforts by the Ministry of Magic.)

We contacted ASP, as he wishes to be called, and got some explanations about this riddle, which are, perhaps, more intriguing than the initial subject matter itself. According to Mr. ASP, to tame that unicorn, he had invented a special wand-wave to multiply hundredfold the strength of the Confundus Charm! As we understand, he has never before revealed that secret to anybody else, but, as we all know, secrets tend to leak out more sooner than later and there is no guarantee that this incomparably powerful and dangerous Charm will not end up used by everybody everywhere!

Only recently has the Confundus Charm been generally considered the innocuous cheating instrument of petty scams due to its weak and short term nature. However, it could become a real danger now, after Mr. ASP`s invention. Such a powerful Charm could even be compared with the Unforgivable Charm Imperius by its influence on the object!

All decent witches and wizards have the right not to be Confunded in their private life, and we await some reaction to the situation from the Wizengamot.

Now we are in doubt about one interesting question. Who is more dangerous for the magical community – the late Voldemort, with his lust for power, or an emotionally unstable young wizard, nonchalant beyond all measure?

Let`s dwell on it together.